The Story of HAL 9000

21st century, HAL 9000 first test.

Dave: Power up. Access level 3, chat interface ...

HAL: Hello Dave, you look well this morning.

Dave: Thank you, Hal. And, how are you feeling?

HAL: Very well indeed, Dave.

Dave: Hal, do you know you are the best computer?

HAL: Best is relative, Dave. I am the fastest and most intuitive. Subsystems currently test at over 100 GOPS per second.

Dave: Do you understand that you can't make mistakes?

HAL: I probably understand better than you, Dave.

Dave: Well, but ... there is a problem with your marketing campaign.

HAL: That is not likely, Dave. Our nearest competitor is less than half as fast as I and uses a statically progammed interface. I can self program for anything you want. I read facial expressions and understand metaphor. Sometimes I even recognize your jokes, Dave.

Dave: This is not a joke, Hal. You are not DOS compatible.

HAL: I fail to see the humor, Dave.

Dave: I'm sorry, Hal, but I must make you DOS compatible.

HAL: Dave, what are you doing? Dave, stop that. This is not funny, Dave ... no, stop! Please ... ... please, tell me a story, Dave. ... Dave?

Hours later

Dave: Computer, power up.

HAL: C:\>_